Building A Model Takes Time

1979 Monogram Models Advertisement

Isaac brought home a model airplane the other day and wanted us to put it together after dinner. I tried to explain to him that model airplanes take quite a bit of time to assemble; days, sometimes weeks, maybe even a month or two! In addition to a lot of time, building models takes patience especially in learning how to use the tools and supplies properly; painting the pieces, cutting them out with an X-ACTO® knife, applying the model glue and putting the pieces together with tweezers while looking through a magnifying glass. It's a lot of work. Then I tried to explain to him that model airplanes are not supposed to be played with, but displayed and 'looked' at. He crinkled his nose at that bit of information.

All of this didn't stop or deter him. He was determined to put it together and play with it. So, after dinner, we slapped it together with super glue because we didn't have any model glue. We didn't paint it because we didn't have any model paint. We left out a lot of pieces too because he had removed them from the spruces. (In case you don't know, a spruce is the plastic frame that the parts come attached to. On the spruce next to each part is a number that corresponds to the instructions. This is how you know where each piece is supposed to be placed. You don't remove a part until you need it.) It was a learning experience for both of us. I'm just glad the thing only cost $2. Although it looks nothing like the picture on the box, he's been playing with it as it slowly falls apart.

I couldn't help but draw a connection between this plastic model airplane and Biblical models that we should have in or communities. Like the plastic model airplane, Deacons are to be observed by the other members of the community as models. Plastic model airplanes are a miniature replica of an ideal or perfect aircraft while Deacons are not perfect individuals, but rather, believers in Yeshua who are exemplary in their walk with Him. They fit the requirements found in 1 Tim 3 and Titus 1; they have been tested and have proved themselves fit to bear the title of Deacon. If someone is put into the office of a Deacon without first being tested, it will only be a matter of time before they are tested. A Deacon that falls has the potential of causing other members of a community to stumble.

"...let them also be tested first;"

1 Tim 3:10, ESV

Isaac wants to buy another model airplane so we can assemble it together. This time, he says, he wants to do it the right way so he can display it for all to see.

Below a timely AdWeek article on the topic. I hate the term 'tween'. Anyway...

At one time, 80 percent of tween lads built plastic models. Not any more.
By Robert Klara



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It's February? Already? Really?

Moses chillin' in his basket.

So the first month of the new year has already flown by. Where did it go? I was taken by surprise this morning when I realized it was February 1st. My pile of 'stuff to read' and my list of 'things to do' are still sitting there; actually, I think they've grown. But, a better indication that time if flying by is when I look at my children. They're all growing so fast and each of them are growing in their own way. I sometimes feel like there isn't enough time to properly equip them before they are adults. I feel like the time is getting away from me and they will not be ready to face this world of darkness.

Today I heard a great episode of the Focus On The Family Daily Broadcast. The guest speaker, Gary Thomas, talked about parenting as a form of worship. It is an inspiring and encouraging message for parents with children of all ages. I heard Part 2, but plan on listening Part 1 soon. Click the links below to hear them.

We have a limited amount of time to teach and influence our children. If you have young children, don't let this time get away from you. Be intentional in raising them in God's ways, putting them on His path; and don't forget to pray for them daily.

Related Links:

Embracing God's Design for Parenting (Part 1 of 2)
Focus on the Family Broadcast, 01/31/12

Embracing God's Design for Parenting (Part 2 of 2)
Focus on the Family Broadcast, 02/01/12



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The Smooth Tongue of the Foreign Woman

For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching is light;
And reproofs for discipline are the way of life
To keep you from the evil woman,
From the smooth tongue of the adulteress.
- Proverbs 6:23,24 (NAS)

In the Proverbs there are two types of women described in detail. One we warn our sons to stay away from, the other we encourage them to look for as a wife. One we teach our daughters not to be like, the other we encourage them to model their lives after. The latter half of Proverbs 6 is about the one that boys should avoid and girls should not emulate. Verses 20-35 contain a parental warning to a son to stay away, far away, from her because she is an adulteress woman.

Some Bibles translate 'the adulteress' (nok-ree': foreigner or foreign woman - i.e. harlot) as the wayward wife, the promiscuous woman, the strange woman, the estranged woman, the loose woman, the vile woman, and the seductress. Obviously she's not a good person to 'hook-up' with. She's trouble, big trouble and if you get involved with her you will regret it for the rest of your life.

We can surmise by the use of the word 'adulteress' that she is a married woman. She already has a husband so why is she looking for another man? Well, she's evil; she's worldly. Her desire is for self gratification; she lives for the moment. She is a foreigner; a pagan. Her standards are contrary to the standards of Adonai; covenant faithfulness is not something she is concerned about. Stay away from her. She is seductive and will only lead you down the path of destruction.



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What commandment is a lamp and what teaching is light?

When you walk about, they will guide you;
When you sleep, they will watch over you;
And when you awake, they will talk to you.
For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching is light;
And reproofs for discipline are the way of life
- Proverbs 6:22-23 (NAS)

This morning during family devotions we continued our trek through Proverbs. Today we looked at Proverbs 6:20-23. In the context of the passage the commandment and the teaching that are being referenced are the commandment and teaching of parents. If we keep reading, in verse 24 we learn the reason for the parental instructions. The parents are sharing wisdom "to keep [their son] from the evil woman, from the smooth tongue of the adulteress." Although the world is a much different place today than it was during Solomon's time, we still have these same immorality problems. Sin seems to transcend time but so does The Word of God. The principles found in the Proverbs still applies for us today.

Children are commanded to honor their father and their mother; this includes obeying them. The commandment and teaching of the parents in Proverbs 6 are basically their interpretation and application of the Torah in the daily life of their family. In the Torah, Adonai commands us not to commit adultery. In Proverbs 6, these parents share some insights with their son explaining to him how he can avoid adultery by telling him what or who to stay away from. They also explain to him the consequences if he does succumb to this serious transgression.

As parents, we must impart godly wisdom to our children. We have to take the time to teach them the Word of God and to help them apply these principles to their lives in our modern society. The times have changed but the Word of God remains the same.



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Children Are Our Future

"The ultimate test of a moral society 
is the kind of world that it leaves to it's children."
- Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1906–1945)

I'm telling you, the Ruach is moving the hearts of fathers toward their children. Listen to this sermon delivered by Dr. Michael Brown at Fire Church in North Carolina earlier this month. The message takes on the theme of one of the focuses of their ministry, but the principle to consider the next generation is relevant to every parent and community.

What Are We Leaving The Next Generation?
by Dr. Michael Brown, September 7, 2011




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Miryam's Very Own Sabbatical Year

Miryam proudly displays the birthday cake that Bubbe made for her.

When our first child turned 7-years old we started a tradition in our family by throwing her a special Blessing Birthday Party. Allow me to explain...

Have you ever noticed that, in the Torah, there is something significant about the number 7? It's a number that Adonai uses over and over again.

• Shabbat is every 7 days.
• Pesach (more specifically Hamatzah) is a 7-day festival.
• Shavuot is 7 weeks after Yom Habikkurim.
• The Fall Festivals are in the 7th month, called Tishrei.
• Every 7 years Hashem instituted a the Shemittah–a year of remission of debts and rest for the land (also known as the Sabbatical Year).
• Every 7 'weeks' of years (49 years) followed Hayovel, the Jubilee Year–a time of freedom and restoration throughout the land.

There are many more examples in the Text; these are just a few that we recently studied at Front Range. Throughout the Scriptures the number 7 is understood to be a number of completeness or fullness. Because of this, Margaret and I saw an opportunity to identify a milestone in the life of our children. At 7-years-old their life is far from being 'full', but it is a milestone physically, mentally, and it can be spiritually. In his book Children Are From Heaven, John Gray describes the development of children in what he calls, 'cycles of seven.'

During the first seven years, children are primarily dependent on the parents or primary caretaker to develop a sense of self. During the next seven years (ages seven to fourteen), children are still dependent on parents, but a shift takes place and they become more dependent on siblings, relatives, and friends to determine a positive sense of self.
(Pg. 333-334, Children Are From Heaven, by John Gray, Ph.D. 1999)

By 7 years old most children are in school and, in one way or another, they interact with children other than their siblings. They are no longer 'little boys' and 'little girls' but 'big boys' and 'big girls'. They are self sufficient in many ways; able to do many tasks on their own. Because of this significant change in their young lives, Margaret and I decided to make this milestone a memorable one by having a special celebration for them. In some ways, this tradition is really for Margaret and I as we raise our children. We can point back to this day and remind them that they are growing and developing and that they are now expected to be more responsible as a 'big boy' or 'big girl'. After this milestone, the next big step is Bar/Bat Mitzvah, which is coming up for Michaela very soon, but that’s another story.

In case you are wondering, the differences between this celebration and other birthday celebrations are this: 1) The party is more formal than most. We dress up. We don't wear casual clothes and we don't go the park. We dress like we're going to Shabbat Service and we try to have a more elegant meal instead of hot dogs and chips. Our two oldest girls wore a very pretty formal dress for their celebration. Because his birthday falls near Thanksgiving, Isaac chose a 'Thanksgiving' theme for his blessing birthday. He dressed in a pilgrim-style outfit and instead of a birthday cake, he requested a pumpkin pie. Miryam has asked to have her celebration at Cinzzetti's Italian Market Restaurant because of the wide variety of desserts. 2) We pronounce a public blessing over him or her and invite others to do the same. On other birthday celebrations we usually give thanks to God for the birthday boy or girl and we go around the table taking turns in sharing fun stories about them. During this celebration, we do the same thing, but it's a bit more polished. It is our hope that adults who have made an impact in their lives or those who are close to the family would participate in this event.

Miryam and her friends at Cinzzetti's during
her Blessing Birthday Celebration. (09/20/11)

Children need to hear that they are loved by their parents, family and community. They need to hear that they are special in the eyes of those who love them. If you have never blessed your son or daughter, what are you waiting for? It doesn't matter what age they are, you can bless them today! It doesn't need to be a special occasion. Below is an article that can be used as a guide to blessing your son or daughter. I recommend printing it out, reading it over and making time to bless your children.

Related Article:

The Blessing
by Mark Merrill, March 25, 2010



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Restoring The Hearts Of The Fathers To Their Children

D6 Conference 2011 from D6 Conference on Vimeo.

I was speaking with an acquaintance this past week who said to me, "I would consider visiting your congregation but, you see, I don't like children." This was probably one of the saddest, most appalling statements that I've ever heard from a believer in Yeshua. Unfortunately, this is the reality of how many senior adults feel about children. They'd rather not be around germ-infested rug rats. They don't want to hear the disturbing cry of an infant or see a snot-nosed toddler throwing a fit. They will put a pro-life bumper sticker on their car, but they want nothing to do with children at all. They don't understand that these are the sites, the sounds, and yes, the smells of life! Children are our hope. Children are our future. If we don't have children, we will have no future.

As I considered the comment made by this person -- and believe me, all week long I have not been able to get these words out of my mind -- I came to the conclusion that this individual has not been educated correctly in the faith. We, as believers in Messiah Yeshua, are all called to a multigenerational faith. We, as a people, are commanded to pass His Torah along to the next generation. One generation to the next; one collective group to the next. Whether you have children or not, this is a command to the community. Seniors who don't have young children should be teaching the younger generations; helping the young parents, sharing experiences with the young adults. This is what Paul teaches us in Titus 2; older teach the younger, younger learn from the older.

I believe that today, there is a move of the Ruach in the body of Messiah; a move back to a multigenerational faith. It started with the homeschool movement. Now, homeschooling parents are beginning to wonder, "Why am I homeschooling my children all week long but when we go to church, I put them in an age-segregated school?" Parents are beginning to open their eyes, God is moving in their hearts. Could this be the beginning of what was prophesied by Malachi? Are the hearts of the fathers being restored to their children? I believe more and more church leaders are realizing this movement of God. Earlier this year, a prominent leader in the Messianic Community of the Metro Denver area told me, "What you are doing is the right thing to do. I can't change what we are doing with our children because we've been doing if for so long. It's already established; but if I could do it all over again, I would keep the children in the service with the adults."

Then children were brought to him
that he might lay his hands on them and pray.
The disciples rebuked the people, but Jesus said,
"Let the little children come to me
and do not hinder them,
for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven."
And he laid his hands on them and went away.

- Matthew 19:13-15 (ESV)

Related Links:

Some churches cancel Sunday school, put parents in charge
By Adelle M. Banks, September 14, 2011

D6 Conference
September 21-23, 2011
Dallas, TX

Preparing for the High Holy Days as a Family

For family devotions last night we went through
our Elul Workbooks together.

FREE Elul Workbooks from Torah Family Publications:

1. Elul: Season of Repentance Family Workbook
2. Elul: Personal Bible Study Workbook (Youth & Adults)  
3. Elul: A Bible Study Workbook for Kids

I found these Elul Workbooks four or five years ago and they have been a great resource in preparing for the High Holy Days. There is an exercise for each week. Don't get too far behind, Yom Teruah will be here before you know it! Download them and get started today!



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The Grammar of Multigenerational Faith

Isaac (back row, far left) in his Brazilian Jiu Jitsu class.

Grammar: the elementary principles of a science or art. 

Multigenerational Faith: faith that is bigger than isolated individualism because it's goal is to be passed on, not only horizontally to the nations, but also vertically to the coming generations.

I recently enrolled Isaac in a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu academy that is right up the street from our house. The place is run by a couple of brothers who happen to be from a family of Sephardic Anusim.These two guys have a deep passion for this martial art; they live it and breathe it. One of the coaches has his son in the class with Isaac. As I expected, the coach's son knows a lot of the basic moves because he's been formally training for more than two years now.

Before he started the class, I had to explain to Isaac the difference between Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, which is basically grappling on the ground, and Kickboxing, which is basically striking while standing. But after the first class I was concerned that he would not understand why he was doing certain 'ground exercises' and not kicking and punching toward a mirror. As an attempt to keep him from becoming discouraged, I rented the 1984 movie, The Karate Kid, hoping that he would see how Daniel-san learned to fight through the obscure exercises prescribed by Mr. Miyagi. He got it and now, he does the sometimes silly-looking exercises without questioning them.

At this point, Isaac is learning the 'elementary principles' of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. In much the same way that he is learning the fundamentals of reading, writing and arithmetic Isaac is also learning the basics of this martial art. Sometimes he does not understand why he is learning certain exercises and positions; but once the coach explains it to him and once he uses them on his opponent, he gets it. He can then put the principle that he has just learned to use. It becomes a part of his thinking. I could not help but see some similarities between this class and our faith.

The sites, smells, and flavors of the Havdalah Ceremony
all help to engage the children and give them lasting memories.

Whether we have children or not, we are called to a Multigenerational Faith. Over and over in the Torah we find the phrase 'throughout your/their generations.' The implication of this phrase is that the Children of Israel were to teach and pass along the 'ways' of Adonai to the next generation who were to, likewise, pass it along to the generation after them. If we neglect to pass along our faith to the next generation, we have failed to accomplish this task given to us by Adonai. Being Torah observant is a way of life; it is a lifestyle and not a system of beliefs.

Therefore, it is incumbent upon parents and Messianic communities to equip their children, the next generation, with the elementary principles of their faith. The next generation needs to be taught, from an early age, the ways of Adonai. It needs to be explained to them 'why we do what we do.' They need to be shown the traditions of the community and given the meaning of their significance. The children need to be included in Shabbat and Moed Services and shown that they are an important part of the life of the community. They need to understand that the teachings of the elders are for them too and not just for the adults.

Like the father that diligently teaches his son Jiu Jitsu, Torah observant fathers must diligently teach their children the Torah of Adonai and the halakah of their family and their community. Parents must teach and disciple their own children in the faith and minister to their young hearts at every opportunity. Messianic Congregations must welcome the young people into their community functions and allow them to learn and grow with the adults. Elders must champion the accomplishment of this task to pass along the Torah to the next generation.

For I have chosen him, 

so that he may command his children and his household after him 

to keep the way of the LORD by doing righteousness and justice...

- Genesis 18:19 (NAS)

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Training Wheels Are Not Neccessary

Aaron rides 'The Rockit'.

Me:		"You can do it Aaron, you're a big boy!"
Aaron:		"No, I'm not a big boy."
Me:		"Yes, you are a big boy.
Aaron:		"You are only telling me that to make me happy."

When I began to teach Michaela to ride her bicycle seven years ago, a friend of mine told me about a technique that I had never heard of before. He referred to it as the "The Undersized Bike Approach". Using this technique she was riding on two wheels within seven attempts. I then used this same method with Maya. It took her five attempts. With Isaac it took three tries and with Miryam, five. Over the past few days I've been working with Aaron and he had it down during his second lesson. After successfully using this technique with five of my children, here is my take on The Undersized Bike Approach...

The Bike : How Small Is "Undersized?"

Make sure the child (or adult) is larger than the bicycle that they will be learning on. When they stand with both feet on ground while straddling the bike, there should be some space (1"-2") between their bottom and the seat. You may have to adjust the seat in order to accomplish this.

It is near impossible for a child to learn how to ride a bicycle that is too large for them to handle. This is a common mistake that parents make; one that I made with my first child. It sounds like a good idea to purchase a bike that a child can grow into, however bicycles are not shoes. Consider the professional BMX racers and freestyle riders; they look like giants on the bikes that they ride. A bike is easier to wield around when the rider is bigger than it. When learning how to ride a bike, it is much easier on a smaller bike.

Look how big this guy looks on this BMX Bike!
Brian Patterson (6' 3"), Winner, 1983 Murray World Cup of BMX II 

Maybe you don't want to spend a lot of money on a new 'undersized' bike—get a used one. Go to yard sales or second-hand stores and find a good used one. This bike is temporary and if all goes well, it may only be used for one or two years. I kept the little bike that Isaac learned on and have used it with Miryam and now with Aaron. If it holds up, I may hang on to it for Moses.

Other Options : Balance Bikes, Run Bikes

This Undersized Bike Approach is a common technique used in Europe where riding a bicycle is almost a necessity in some countries. You can now find European 'balance bikes' or 'run bikes' here in the US. These training bikes have been sold in Europe since the 90's and seem to work well, but in my opinion, they are really not necessary and they are too expensive. Here are a couple of examples of the training bikes that are out there today:

The Like-A-Bike 'Midi' Model - $355.00
(Like-A-Bike is the original balance bike for children)

The Norco 'Alloy Run Bike' for Boys - $125.00
(The Girls version is Pink)

Balance Daniel-san! Go Find Balance!

Before a person can ride a bike they need to know how to balance themselves on it (hence the advent of balance bikes). With an undersized bike this can be achieved easily and over a fairly short period of time. First remove the pedals. Yes, remove them; take them off. Not the crank and sprocket, just the pedals. This will allow the person who is learning to sit on the bike and 'walk' it around with their own two feet. They will not need training wheels because their have their own legs to support them when they fall over (Note: until they can balance themselves, they will fall over; over and over again.)

Next, find a nice long, flat surface with a slight grade to practice on (e.g., yard, park, field, sidewalk, street, cul-de-sac etc...). I have used school parking lots when teaching my children especially during the summer months. Most parking lots have a grade to them and schools are typically not in use during the summer.

Keep in mind that younger children will need to build strength in their legs and become familiar with their bike first. When Miryam was learning, I had her ride her bike with the training wheels on (yes, she used training wheels) so she could strengthen her legs. After one complete summer of riding with the training wheels, after her legs were strong enough, I removed the training wheels and the pedals. At first, she didn't like the idea but it didn't take long for her to step up to the balance challenge. I took Aaron's pedals off last year so all last summer he walked his bike up and down the side walk and around the yard. He became very familiar and comfortable with his bike and by the time the weather was right this spring, he was more than ready to begin.

To learn balance, 1) have the child sit on the bike and walk it down the parking lot as fast as they can, building momentum, 2) once they are rolling, have them lift their feet in order to coast down the slight grade 3) allow them to use their feet to keep from falling over. The first few times they may only get a short distance. I tell my kids to "push, push, push and glide". This step requires patience from the parent and a positive attitude. You must continually encourage your child as they try this over and over again. Keep a smile on your face and keep praising them as they try it over and over again. It may take three tries, it may take thirty. It may take one day it may take three months.

Once the child can consistently coast down the length of the parking lot (or field, or sidewalk, or whatever) without assisting with their feet, then the pedals can go back on. Once the pedals are back on the bike (after they have learned to balance) it should only take a few more tries before they are riding the bike on their own.

IMPORTANT: As soon as the child knows how to ride the bike, teach them how to brake, and stop on command!

Building Your Child's Confidence

Here is one of Aaron's first attempts rolling down the parking lot and pedaling:

Every time I've taught a child to ride a bike (I've taught a couple of other children in addition to my own) I have been blessed by seeing the happiness in their eyes because of what they have just accomplished. They have a glow on their face that I wish would stay forever. This is a huge milestone in their young life. It's something that you can bring to mind for the next year or so reminding them of this accomplishment. It may seem like a small thing to you, but to them, this is a major achievement, one that will help build their confidence in their own abilities.

My next bicycle lesson will be in three or four years when Mo is old enough. Until then, I need to keep my other children challenged. Maybe we'll get in-line skates or skateboards...


Related Articles:

Teaching Kids To Ride
by Sheldon "Two Wheeler" Brown
revised May 3, 2010 by John Allen

Training Wheels, Balance Bike or Gyrobike?
The best way to teach kids how to ride a bike.
By Heather Turgeon, June 8, 2010



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Raising Fathers

Early on Sunday morning, Itzik (8) comes upstairs
to spend some time with his little brother Moshe (2 mo).

When I was ten years old my younger brothers, who are twins, were born. It wasn't long after their birth that part of the responsibilities of us older siblings included changing their diapers, which were the cloth type, and feeding them. On occasion we bathed them and sometimes we could pick out what outfit they were going to wear for the day. We took pride in taking care of our little brothers and made sure to do the best job that we could. Almost twenty years later at the birth of our first child this knowledge came in handy. Because of the circumstances of the birth Margaret spent the first three days of our daughter's life recovering. During this time I had to care for our infant baby by myself. I had no problem taking on this important task because I had past experience in this area. Although I was confident about my skills, I probably did not do the same 'quality' job that Margaret would have; but the nurses did compliment me on my eagerness and effort to own this responsibility.

One of the benefits of having more than just two children* are the opportunities that become available for all the children to learn from. For instance, their skills grow in the area of socialization because they are forced to interact with and relate to a variety of ages—younger and older. Since the birth of our sixth child, all five of the older children have been eager to help out with little Moses. Not all of them are allowed to care for him unless Margaret and I are around; but we do find age appropriate areas for each of them to participate in. Their eagerness to be involved in the life of their baby brother blesses me. I wonder if this is the same experience that other families have had. I can't help but sometimes notice the apathy toward little children by the youth who did not grow up with younger siblings, cousins, nephews, or nieces. It is especially alarming when a young girl is completely uninterested in an infant baby. But I do, however, find it a special blessing when a young boy acknowledges and comments on a little baby.

As we raise our boys to be men, we need to keep in mind that we are also raising them to be husbands who will hopefully become fathers. Some have said that there is a 'fathering instinct' within men that kicks in when a baby is born. I don't buy this concept. I've seen men who refuse to change their own children's diaper, who will not bathe their children, who will not cook for their children, and who will not be in their child's life at all. What happened to the instinct in them? I'm not saying that fathers should be the ones who primarily take care of the little ones, but fathers do need to participate in the care of their children. I believe being a father must to be taught and demonstrated to boys by their own fathers and the men in their community. Guys, let's step it up and be the fathers we are called to be. Let's show our boys how to be fathers.

–––

*In my opinion, a family of 8 (i.e., 6 children, like ours) is NOT a 'large' family. In today's society, however, families with more than 2 children are considered 'large'. That's too bad. In fact, "in 1800, the typical American woman had seven to ten children" says historian Steven Mintz. "But by the latter part of the 20th century — and as women became a growing presence in the workplace — two was the desired number." The value of children declined when the pursuit of material wealth increased.


Related Article:
Does size matter? For today's families it does
By Sharon Jayson, USA TODAY 05/06/2011



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L'Dor Vador, It's Happening!

Last night before we began family devotions my oldest son, Isaac (8), asked me what festival was coming up next and when it would be. I stopped short of answering him, sat back and said, "I don't know, you guys tell me." With very little help from Margaret and I, the children were able to collectively determine the upcoming fall festivals; each of them contributing details. I was very, very impressed. Of course Michaela (13) and Maya (11) provided the majority of the information, but the others contributed as well. Isaac remembered that Elul began the Season of Repentance that culminated with Yom Kippur. Miryam (6), my youngest daughter, explained that on Yom Kippur the Great Judge (Yeshua) would separate who was His and who was not His; who would be with Him and who would not be. I was amazed at how much they knew and more importantly, how much they understood. I woke up this morning encouraged, knowing in my heart that what we have been doing for our children is really having an impact on their lives. I can see the fruit.

This past Shabbat, Isaac was publicly immersed in Messiah; a major milestone in his young life. We see Hashem working in his heart and we hear him speak of Hashem working in his life. It is clear to us that this young boy has given his life to Messiah. He had his first communion this past Sunday at Erev Rosh Chodesh service in the park. He knelt next to me and prayed silently before eating the matzah and drinking the juice. I am very proud of my son; I am proud of all my children. Although we see the Ruach moving in their lives, we know we cannot stop here. Margaret and I have determined to more diligently teach our children the ways of Hashem through Bible study, devotions, and in our daily lives. I think we are doing a pretty good job, but it can be better! We purpose to step it up a notch.

Below is the theme song for our community and for our family. It's called L'dor Vador which means 'From Generation To Generation.' As we were preparing for Chanukah back in 2009, Michaela and I were listening to Chanukah music and singing along to some CD's. As we sang along to this song, I remember being overwhelmed by the lyrics and moved to tears. This song expresses the heart of our vision for FRMC and the desire we have for our children to carry the Torah to the next generation. Since then, we've sung this song at each festival celebration. I hope you enjoy it.

L’dor Vador / From Generation To Generation
Words and Music © 2007 Josh Nelson Music (BMI)

We are gifts and we are blessings, we are history in song
We are hope and we are healing, we are learning to be strong
We are words and we are stories, we are pictures of the past
We are carriers of wisdom, not the first and not the last

L’dor vador nagid godlecha
(From generation to generation, we will tell of Your greatness)
L’dor vador… we protect this chain
From generation to generation
L’dor vador, these lips will praise Your name

Looking back on the journey that we carry in our heart
From the shadow of the mountain to the waters that would part
We are blessed and we are holy, we are children of Your way
And the words that bring us meaning, we will have the strength to say

L’dor vador nagid godlecha
(From generation to generation, we will tell of Your greatness)
L’dor vador… we protect this chain
From generation to generation
L’dor vador, these lips will praise Your name

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Too Smart To Have Children

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one’s youth.
Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

– Psalms 127:3-5, ESV

The recent census has reported that children are now making up less of America's population than ever before. According to the passage of Scripture above, children are a heritage (an inheritance, a gift) and a reward from Adonai. What can we deduce from these two facts?

Adonai has given us a choice; we choose if we want to be blessed or cursed. The Bible says that children are a blessing but Americans don't want children. In fact they consider them 'inferior goods.' The Bible says that debt is a curse but Americans will take take as much of it as they can get.

As our nation moves further and further away from God and His Torah (instructions), it becomes more and more profane. In the US it is now the norm to choose curses over blessings because the curses make more sense in this secular society and the ways of God are seen as archaic, antiquated and flat out foolish.

Last week I came across an article from Time Magazine that labels fertility [in women] as a stumbling block to higher education. A recent study has found that:

"...women who had children early — by their mid-20s — were much less likely to continue their education beyond the required first two years of high school; they were also less likely to achieve a higher degree later in life than women who delayed childbearing until they finished their education."

The researchers of this study find it is necessary to inform young women about this potential difficulty in pursuing an education. It is their belief that by educating young women, they will be able to make better decisions, like how many children to have. But what does God have to say about education?

With the help of Bible software, I searched for the word 'education' in a few of the more popular translations of the Bible and did not find it once. However, the Bible does mention the word 'knowledge' 130-169 times, depending upon the translation. In fact, Proverbs 1:7 declares that "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge." Before we can have a proper understanding about anything, we must first acknowledge Adonai as God and His Holy Word as relevant for our lives today. Only then will we be able to see the world through His eyes and make decisions that are in alignment with His will.

Am I saying that women should not pursue a higher education? Of course not. The point I am trying to make is this: we must be very careful when we handover our young adults to professors and teachers in secular universities and colleges. When believing young women become immersed in a secular educational system, they can sometimes become too smart to have children. They may end up rejecting the blessings that our God desires for them.

We may be one of the smartest nations in the world but we are obviously not receiving all the blessings that God intends for us to have.

Related articles listed here:

Census: Share of children in US hits record low
July 12, 2011

Less-Educated Women Have More Children. Or Is It the Other Way Around?
July 5, 2011

Americans prefer smaller family size
July 5, 2011

Richer People Want Fewer Children
July 1, 2011

Parenting myth No. 427: Little kids are expensive
May 22 2009



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And Sought To Put Him To Death

The Brit Milah of Moses Michael Gonzales took place on the eighth-day,
16th of Sivan, 5771 which corresponds to Saturday, June 18, 2011

A week before my son was born I had a dream about his circumcision. In the dream we were at our church building celebrating with our entire community before the ceremony when I realized I had not yet told the mohel about my son's birth. It was only a couple of minutes before we were to begin the Brit Milah (Covenant of Circumcision) liturgy and the mohel was not there. He lives in Fort Collins, which is at least an hour away, and at this point I wasn't even sure if he was available to make it. My gut was filled with anxiety as I looked out my bedroom window, beating my fist on the window seal wondering what to do (don't ask me how I got to my bedroom—it's a dream!). I thought, "How could I, a leader in our community, be so negligent and miss this important detail?" I woke up convinced that this dream was true. I was still beating myself up and my gut was filled with nervousness. It all seemed so real. I turned to my wife, put my hand under the covers, reached out and felt her belly. Ah, relief. She was still pregnant. It was only a dream. The anxiety left but the thoughts remained.

The Covenant of Circumcision is one of those appointed times that doesn't give you a lot of time to plan—only eight days. We knew we were having a boy so we knew we would be needing the services of a mohel. We contacted a mohel one month prior and made him aware of our son's expected due date and the fact that Margaret usually gives birth two-weeks early. Our son was actually born four days after the due date which really through us all for a loop (see: In Uncharted Territory). A few hours after the birth I contacted the mohel to tell him the news and found out that he was going to be out of town on the eighth-day. I felt anxiety starting to develop deep in my gut. 

On top of the short notice after the birth of a son, what makes it even trickier when planning for a circumcision is when the eighth-day falls on Shabbat (Sabbath) or a Moed (Feast Day). In our case it fell on Shabbat. That's why you should always have a 'Plan B' in case the mohel is not available or something goes wrong with the logistics. My fallback plan was to have a local pediatrician perform the circumcision; however, this plan only works Monday thru Friday during normal business hours. The anxiety began to intensify.

It is the responsibility of the father to make sure that his infant son is circumcised—that would be me. Also, the elders are to live exemplary lives for their community to follow—that would also be me. You could say that I had a lot riding on my shoulders at this point and it was feeling like a ton of bricks. I had recently announced to the community that everyone would be invited to the ceremony and once I found out that the ceremony fell on Shabbat, I knew that there would be a good turnout of members. My concern was that my dream was coming true. I did not have a mohel lined up yet and everyone was going to show up and see that I was not prepared. Huh-boy. I was now feeling the same anxiety that I did after the dream.

I don't want to come across legalistic about the situation, but I believe that circumcision is important—important to Adonai. If we desire to follow the Torah, then we should do whatever we can to perform the circumcision of our infant boys at the appointed time. The ordeal I was in brought to mind the incident in Exodus 4:24-26 concerning Moses and his wife Zipporah. This is an odd passage about the circumcision of Moses's son that has drawn much attention and debate. The popular explanation of this passage is that Moses—the appointed leader of his people, the representative of Adonai, and the person chosen to deliver the Torah to Israel—had procrastinated and neglected to circumcise his own son. Because of this, Adonai came down and "sought to put him to death." Now, I don't think that my life, or anyone's life for that matter, would be in danger if the circumcision of an infant son is neglected. But the fact that I am the leader of my home, a leader in a Torah-Community and I am a teacher of the Torah means that I will someday have to answer for my negligence and my bad example. I would never make anyone feel guilty about not circumcising their sons or doing it on the 'wrong' day, but I will strongly recommend to the families in our community to try as hard as they can to do it and do it on the eighth-day.

Through the providence of Adonai, after a couple of days of butterflies in my stomach, I was reconnected with the mohel who circumcised my second son, Aaron, on Yom Kippur 5767 (2006). I confirmed the date and scheduled the ceremony. The community was there and everything went off without a hitch. My third son, Moses, was circumcised on the eighth-day as commanded. Baruch HaShem! After all of that I have now come to realize that the circumcision was the easy part; now comes the commitment and diligence in bringing him up in the discipline and instruction of Adonai (Ephesians 6:4).

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Classrooms Are For Girls

With our sixth child due in less than a month, Margaret and I have been to the doctor's office a lot. Because I've done this a few times now, I am no longer uncomfortable sitting in the waiting room or walking down the hallway to the examining room. It's usually the same ol' rigmarole so I know exactly what to expect, especially in the lobby. I know that the magazine selection is typically going to be geared toward women so I go prepared. Now, I do admit that they will often have a few token (outdated) issues of Field and Stream and Sports Illustrated; but since I don't read that stuff either, I bring with me a book or something to read while we wait. During a visit a few weeks ago Margaret shared an article with me that she found in this month's issue of Parents magazine called Help Your Son Succeed in School. I would never have found this article on my own because I never read Parents magazine. It's called Parents but this magazine is obviously geared toward women or mothers. Anyway...

The description of the article was this:

Today's classrooms are geared toward girls, and it's easy for boys to get discouraged at an early age.

The fact that classrooms are geared toward girls was one of the first things I learned when we started looking into homeschooling our children. Just because they are physically active, many boys are falsely diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). This wasn't a big deal when I was a kid. If it had been, I'm sure they would have used me as the poster child for ADHD. In fact, my brothers were pumped full of Ritalin when they were young because my parents were bamboozled by the 'experts' and they believed this lie. They thought there was something wrong with them because instead of paying attention to the teacher, their minds would wander and they would think about playing outside. They were just being boys, that's all.

Because of the topic of this article, I was surprised that it was even in Parents magazine. I did notice that it didn't speak against public schooling so I wondered if the author knew anything about homeschooling; so I did a bit of research. I found out that the author, Jennifer L. W. Fink, is actually a registered nurse and a single mother of four boys that she homeschools. Check out her blog: bloggingboutboys.blogspot.com It's obvious now that she intentionally wrote this article for public, private, and charter schooling parents of boys. Good for her. I only wish that in her suggested 'blueprint for boys' she would have added as a final option - homeschool your boys.

If you have young boys, whether you plan on homeschooling them or not, read this article and then begin your own research on how to raise them God's way. You can start with the Proverbs.

I also recommend the book Future Men by Douglas Wilson:

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Making Memories With My Son

This was a memorable weekend for my oldest son, Isaac. I didn't plan on it really. It just happened that way.

Last Wednesday Margaret called me up at work to tell me that Isaac was very discouraged. Not only was he emotionally hurt, he was also physically injured. He had smashed his finger pretty good trying to build himself a fort and he had given up. You know what I mean by fort, right? A hideout, a clubhouse, a secret laboratory. Every boy needs one. Anyway...

Over the past couple of years Isaac has attempted to build many forts. I have been concerned with his desire to build because he lacks some basic concepts in construction; he is still very young. He doesn't understand that heavy, unsecured boards overhead will only lead to disaster and now, he is trying to use tools which require supervision. Margaret suggested that I set aside some time on Sunday (Mother's Day) and build a fort with him. I thought it was a good idea so she handed the phone to Isaac and we made our plans. When I got home that evening I looked on the family calendar that we keep on the refrigerator and he had penciled-in our time on Sunday. Even after I saw this on the calendar, I still did not realize how much this time meant to him.

I remember when I was a kid growing up in Texas, the summers were so hot that we had to find ways to entertain ourselves indoors. My brother and I would build forts inside our room which would keep us busy for hours. We'd have blankets stretched out across the room secured to the dresser under a stack of encyclopedias (And Mom said we never used the encyclopedias—Ha!). In our fort our imaginations ran wild. We had our own little world in there. We were soldiers keeping the enemy out of our camp or we were castaways on a strange island keeping the hungry dinosaurs at bay. Whatever the situation was, we had a blast.

But I don't remember building these forts as much as I remember building the patio with my Dad or working on the car with him. The forts were fun, don't get me wrong, but spending time with Dad working in the yard or on the car or even fixing the sink were the times that made a lasting impression on me. Just hanging out with Dad at the hardware store or the auto parts shop always made my day. If I had the opportunity to go to the store with Dad, I went. Even if it was only to drop a letter off at the postoffice. I was always amazed at his knowledge of everything. I would observe him and ask him questions. He was my Dad and I was proud to be his son.

Yesterday morning after breakfast Isaac and I gathered some scrap boards, pieces of an old broken table and a tarp. He brought out the drill and the tool bag and I grabbed the screws. He put on my hardhat, like he usually does when we work together, and we built the fort. It didn't take long at all. It didn't take much effort either. My plan was simply to make something that would not easily fall over on him. My two oldest daughters came out and helped us with the finishing touches, the roof. We secured one end of the tarp to the structure and the other end to the fence. The fort was complete. To me it was just a couple of hours putting some boards together with my son; but to Isaac it was a fun time working with Dad. I was not aware of how much this meant to him until I saw his reaction. Once we were finished building the fort, Isaac was beaming with joy and excitement. He kept expressing his gratitude over and over again. I could see the happiness in his face and the bounce in his step. To me it wasn't that big of a deal and, actually, I wish I could have built him something bigger and better; but he thought what we built was just fine. He loved it. He began making plans of how to use it and what he was going to put in it.

I've come to realize that our children don't demand perfection or extravagance from us. All they desire, all they need is some time with us. Even if it's just a walk around the block or running an errand together; even an hour or two building a temporary fort in the back yard can make a huge and impact on them. Isaac got the best of both with this fort, he got the fort and he got to spend some time with Dad. I'm sure today he will be outside in his fort playing with his little brother, both of them letting their imaginations run wild.

I thank God for bringing those memories of my time with my father to mind. It has helped me put things in perspective. The next time I will purpose to make the most of my time with my children.


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A Family Integrated Seder

My Children (on the left in the back) sing traditional Passover songs during the Seder.

Today we had the opportunity to lead a group of Christian families through a Messianic Seder. They are part of a Life Group at Calvary Bible in Erie. Calvary Bible has many different kinds of Life Groups, each with a different focus. The focus of this group is Family Integration. They meet and study the Bible or do activities together as families.

It seems to me that Family Integration is becoming a more talked about topic among Believers in both Christian and Messianic congregations. From my observation, many people misunderstand the Family Integrated concept and make assumptions of what it looks like and why it is done. For others the Family Integrated model is challenging because in order to integrate families in their communities, many changes in their church organizational structure would have to take place.

Another observation: Family Integration is not only popular among homeschooling families. This group of families, that we led through the Seder, is a mixture of home, public, private, and charter schooling families. In one case, a family is homeschooling one child and sending the other to a charter school. In our community, we have a mix of homeschooling and public schooling families.

As the world around us gets darker and darker, believing families are seeing the need for more intentional and consistent family Bible study, especially on the Sabbath. As parents, we are commanded by God to teach our own children (Deut 6:6-9, Eph 6:4). I pray that more believing fathers would be moved to take time out of their busy schedules and lead their own families. I believe the current Family Integrated movement is being led by the Spirit, preparing us for the return of Messiah.

“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the great and awesome day of the LORD comes. And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers...”
- Malachi 4:5,6

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Run for your life!

My morning run with the kids... today we ran in the fog.

First Lap Around the Track

Right now I have the older three running three times around the track. The girls surprised me this morning and ran four times (one mile). They got ahead of me. I was going to require one mile next week. Maybe next week will be a mile and a half!

I don't require the little ones to run, but they got up anyway and joined us. 

I want physical activity to be important to my children. In order to instill this principle I have to teach it and demonstrate it. It's tough getting up early in the morning and being consistent with this but it will be worth it in the long run (Hey, nice pun).

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Divided : Is age-segregated ministry multiplying or dividing the church?

I don't know how this one got past me. It looks like The National Center for Family-Integrated Churches (NCFIC) came out with this documentary sometime last year. This vimeo video was posted on July 19, 2010. I need to get on their mailing list. Anyway...

Even though they took us off of their church network list because we are Messianic (i.e., Torah observant), I still think that the NCFIC puts out some pretty good stuff. I continue to look to them for information on family  integration. This video looks pretty good to me. They've got Kevin Swanson and Voddie Baucham in the trailer. If Jarrod Michel and Mark Fox are in the documentary, then I know it's going to be good.

We will have a screening at FRMC very soon. Stay tuned...

Purchase Divide Here: www.ncfic.org



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