Classrooms Are For Girls

With our sixth child due in less than a month, Margaret and I have been to the doctor's office a lot. Because I've done this a few times now, I am no longer uncomfortable sitting in the waiting room or walking down the hallway to the examining room. It's usually the same ol' rigmarole so I know exactly what to expect, especially in the lobby. I know that the magazine selection is typically going to be geared toward women so I go prepared. Now, I do admit that they will often have a few token (outdated) issues of Field and Stream and Sports Illustrated; but since I don't read that stuff either, I bring with me a book or something to read while we wait. During a visit a few weeks ago Margaret shared an article with me that she found in this month's issue of Parents magazine called Help Your Son Succeed in School. I would never have found this article on my own because I never read Parents magazine. It's called Parents but this magazine is obviously geared toward women or mothers. Anyway...

The description of the article was this:

Today's classrooms are geared toward girls, and it's easy for boys to get discouraged at an early age.

The fact that classrooms are geared toward girls was one of the first things I learned when we started looking into homeschooling our children. Just because they are physically active, many boys are falsely diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). This wasn't a big deal when I was a kid. If it had been, I'm sure they would have used me as the poster child for ADHD. In fact, my brothers were pumped full of Ritalin when they were young because my parents were bamboozled by the 'experts' and they believed this lie. They thought there was something wrong with them because instead of paying attention to the teacher, their minds would wander and they would think about playing outside. They were just being boys, that's all.

Because of the topic of this article, I was surprised that it was even in Parents magazine. I did notice that it didn't speak against public schooling so I wondered if the author knew anything about homeschooling; so I did a bit of research. I found out that the author, Jennifer L. W. Fink, is actually a registered nurse and a single mother of four boys that she homeschools. Check out her blog: bloggingboutboys.blogspot.com It's obvious now that she intentionally wrote this article for public, private, and charter schooling parents of boys. Good for her. I only wish that in her suggested 'blueprint for boys' she would have added as a final option - homeschool your boys.

If you have young boys, whether you plan on homeschooling them or not, read this article and then begin your own research on how to raise them God's way. You can start with the Proverbs.

I also recommend the book Future Men by Douglas Wilson:

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Radio Shows...

When I’m not sitting behind my desk doing paperwork I am usually darting around town picking up supplies, making deliveries or running errands. This gives me some time in my little service van to listen to the radio. There’s only one Messianic radio show in the area that I know of but I usually cannot pick up the station very well. When I listen to the radio I try to fill my mind with ‘good’ stuff but sometimes I will wander onto the secular airwaves for news. Below are some of the radio shows that I usually listen to:

Glenn Beck

AM-630 KHOW

9:00 am - 12:00 pm

I first started listening to Glenn Beck when I was visiting my family in Texas a few years ago. I enjoy his take on politics and his sense of humor but when his sidekicks start making funny voices I usually turn it off.

Food For Your Soul

The teaching and preaching ministry
of Pastor Dr. Darrell Richard Ferguson

FM-94.7 KRKS

12:00 pm - 12:30 pm

I am currently taking a hermeneutics class taught by Dr. Darrell which has made me appreciate his teachings even more. No, he’s not Messianic but I appreciate his method of exegeting the Scriptures and how thorough he is in explaining the text.

Living God Ministries

Aaron Budjen's teachings on the Scriptures
from a historical and Judaic frame of reference.

AM-670 KLTT

5:30 pm - 6:00 pm

I stumbled upon this guy a year ago but couldn’t find him again. I came across him again earlier this year during Pesach. He’s not Messianic either, but he was studying to become a rabbi before he accepted Yeshua as Messiah. He’s got some interesting perspectives.

Total Axxess with Wally

FM-101.9 WAY-FM

6:00 pm - 10:00 pm

Margaret doesn’t like WAY-FM. She feels like they take too many liberties. I agree to an extent, but it is a Christian station and they are nothing like the secular rock stations. Besides, I think Wally is kinda funny.

There's other stuff that I listen to on the radio but these are the shows I will usually listen to when I'm driving by myself. When I'm with my family, they always outvote me and we listen KLOVE. Go figure.

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Relationships – some hurt, some heal

The King's Speech

Last night, I watched The King's Speech with my wife. In case you haven't seen the movie,

 [Warning: This Post Is A Plot Spoiler] 

it is about relationships. Some relationships tear down and others build up. Some hurt you and some help you heal. In the movie, the King was emotionally wounded as a young child by people very close to him. As an adult, these emotional wounds were still as fresh as when he first received them. The most prominent manifestation of these wounds was his stammering speech; he stuttered horribly. As the leader of his country the King was expected to speak publicly before his citizens and at times, before the world. The mere thought of public speaking terrified him. The story focused on the relationship that develops between the King and his speech therapist. The King befriends the therapist and a friend was something that the King had never had before. The movie contrasts the stoic and emotionless royal family of the King with the loving interaction between the family of the therapist. Through tests and trials, both at times reaching out to ask the other for forgiveness, the King and his therapist develop a strong relationship as friends. At the end of the movie we learn that the King and his therapist remained close friends for the rest of their lives.

Sometimes the people that hurt us the most are the people who are the closest to us. Maybe that's why Adonai commanded us to honor our parents, not necessarily love them. We are to honor our authorities no matter what we think about them, no matter how we feel about them. It doesn't even matter if we love them or not. But, the parent-child relationship is supposed to be a special one. It is symbolic, a type, of our relationship with Adonai. Believers are called B'nei Elohim, Children of God. He sees us as His children. He loves us like a father; or like a father is supposed to love his children. But parents are not God, they are human and they err. Sometimes a parent's mistakes can emotionally injure their child so seriously that the child will have these emotional scars for the rest of his or her life.

A person with severe emotional wounds needs healing in order for them to live life the way God intended. Adonai provides healing for us through the blood of the Lamb. Yeshua died for our sins but He also died so that we can be healed. Sometimes this type of deep wound takes time and prayer in order to work through the multiple layers of lies and transgressions. A good friend can help in a situation like this. Someone who is genuinely concerned, someone who wants to listen and pray for you. Someone you can trust and confide in.

The King's Speech wasn't a movie about faith, but it was a movie about faithful friendship. The King wasn't healed at the end of the movie, but his friend was there to help him work through the wounds of his past. Good friends are hard to find. Before you can find one, you have to be one. When was the last time you made a significant sacrifice to help a friend?

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Appreciating the Foul Poles in my life

Foul Pole, a photo by Michael David Gonzales on Flickr.

I had coffee with a good friend of mine this morning and it really made my day and my week. I haven't met with him in a long time so it was good to catch up. When we first started Front Range, back in 2009, I would meet with Jarrod on a weekly basis for coffee and a bagel at Einstein's. How we met was a God directed appointment and we continued to meet because of a common interest. We were both in the process of planting a 'Family Integrated' church. Ours–Messianic, and theirs–Christian. He shared with me his wealth of knowledge about Biblical and historical family integration in the church and ancient Israel. He had recently graduated from Denver Seminary where he wrote his master's thesis on this topic. In addition to all the information he shared, Jarrod was also very encouraging which was what I really needed at the time. Starting a church is not easy and it can get intimidating and overwhelming at times; a lot of the time.

What I noticed about our meeting today was that Jarrod holds me accountable in my thoughts and actions. I don't think I've noticed this in the past like I did today. I don't remember asking him to hold me accountable, he just does it. Why? Well, this is what a godly friend is supposed to do. As believers, we should be challenging each other spiritually because Adonai is part of our friendship. Proverbs 27:17 says Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. This means that when we come together as friends and as we share our ideas and our thoughts, we should be encouraging and admonishing each other in the process. This back and forth challenging each other in areas of weakness, encouraging each other in new pursuits will continually push us toward Adonai and strengthen our relationship with each other.

A godly friend is like a foul pole at a baseball park. When a ball is hit over the centerfield fence it's obviously a homerun. But when the ball is hit over the fence straight up the foul line, depending on where you are standing, it is hard to determine if it is a good ball or a foul ball. The foul pole is there to make it clear, no matter where you are, if the ball went foul or not. Sometimes when we pass our ideas and thoughts by our friends, we may think they are homeruns; But after meeting and talking it over with them, we discover that our thoughts or past actions were actually foul balls.

Thank you, Adonai, for putting foul poles in my life; friends who push me back to You and Your Word.

Blessed is the man
who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners,
nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
Psalm 1:1

Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise,
but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
Proverbs 13:20

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Making Memories With My Son

This was a memorable weekend for my oldest son, Isaac. I didn't plan on it really. It just happened that way.

Last Wednesday Margaret called me up at work to tell me that Isaac was very discouraged. Not only was he emotionally hurt, he was also physically injured. He had smashed his finger pretty good trying to build himself a fort and he had given up. You know what I mean by fort, right? A hideout, a clubhouse, a secret laboratory. Every boy needs one. Anyway...

Over the past couple of years Isaac has attempted to build many forts. I have been concerned with his desire to build because he lacks some basic concepts in construction; he is still very young. He doesn't understand that heavy, unsecured boards overhead will only lead to disaster and now, he is trying to use tools which require supervision. Margaret suggested that I set aside some time on Sunday (Mother's Day) and build a fort with him. I thought it was a good idea so she handed the phone to Isaac and we made our plans. When I got home that evening I looked on the family calendar that we keep on the refrigerator and he had penciled-in our time on Sunday. Even after I saw this on the calendar, I still did not realize how much this time meant to him.

I remember when I was a kid growing up in Texas, the summers were so hot that we had to find ways to entertain ourselves indoors. My brother and I would build forts inside our room which would keep us busy for hours. We'd have blankets stretched out across the room secured to the dresser under a stack of encyclopedias (And Mom said we never used the encyclopedias—Ha!). In our fort our imaginations ran wild. We had our own little world in there. We were soldiers keeping the enemy out of our camp or we were castaways on a strange island keeping the hungry dinosaurs at bay. Whatever the situation was, we had a blast.

But I don't remember building these forts as much as I remember building the patio with my Dad or working on the car with him. The forts were fun, don't get me wrong, but spending time with Dad working in the yard or on the car or even fixing the sink were the times that made a lasting impression on me. Just hanging out with Dad at the hardware store or the auto parts shop always made my day. If I had the opportunity to go to the store with Dad, I went. Even if it was only to drop a letter off at the postoffice. I was always amazed at his knowledge of everything. I would observe him and ask him questions. He was my Dad and I was proud to be his son.

Yesterday morning after breakfast Isaac and I gathered some scrap boards, pieces of an old broken table and a tarp. He brought out the drill and the tool bag and I grabbed the screws. He put on my hardhat, like he usually does when we work together, and we built the fort. It didn't take long at all. It didn't take much effort either. My plan was simply to make something that would not easily fall over on him. My two oldest daughters came out and helped us with the finishing touches, the roof. We secured one end of the tarp to the structure and the other end to the fence. The fort was complete. To me it was just a couple of hours putting some boards together with my son; but to Isaac it was a fun time working with Dad. I was not aware of how much this meant to him until I saw his reaction. Once we were finished building the fort, Isaac was beaming with joy and excitement. He kept expressing his gratitude over and over again. I could see the happiness in his face and the bounce in his step. To me it wasn't that big of a deal and, actually, I wish I could have built him something bigger and better; but he thought what we built was just fine. He loved it. He began making plans of how to use it and what he was going to put in it.

I've come to realize that our children don't demand perfection or extravagance from us. All they desire, all they need is some time with us. Even if it's just a walk around the block or running an errand together; even an hour or two building a temporary fort in the back yard can make a huge and impact on them. Isaac got the best of both with this fort, he got the fort and he got to spend some time with Dad. I'm sure today he will be outside in his fort playing with his little brother, both of them letting their imaginations run wild.

I thank God for bringing those memories of my time with my father to mind. It has helped me put things in perspective. The next time I will purpose to make the most of my time with my children.


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