Facebook Friends and Brothers in Messiah

"I prefer face-to-face interactions or hand written sentiments"
- Paul Blart, Mall Cop (2009)

When communicating something of importance to anybody, it would do us well to adopt the views of Paul Blart (Kevin James), the protagonist of the comedy Mall Cop. When asked if he owned a mobile phone, Paul Blart responds by saying:

"I prefer face-to-face interactions or hand written sentiments."

This is my new motto. After a few bad text, email, and facebook experiences, I have decided not to engage in e-conversations if the topic is of a sensitive nature and/or if the exchange begins to go south. There is a place for electronic media in our lives today, but it should not replace face-to-face meetings.

When dealing with any sensitive issues or confronting a wayward brother or sister, avoid using text, email, or facebook. If a face-to-face meeting is possible, we should choose this method of interaction first. If meeting face-to-face is not possible, try a phone call. Nowadays everyone has access to a telephone or mobile phone; but still, there are some folks who don't feel comfortable addressing sensitive issues over the phone. As an alternative to the phone call, or if the phone call is not possible, try the good old fashioned 'hand written' (or typed) personal letter. Letters are actually a very Jewish way of communicating important information, like halakha. Consider the Apostle Paul and his method of communicating to Churches that were where many miles away. If we can't meet in person or make a phone call, a personal letter is the next best thing.

As electronic media becomes more and more a part of our daily lives, we cannot neglect our need for personal interaction. Don't mistake emails for conversations. Don't mistake facebook for your community. Don't hide behind your computer screen. Get out and socialize the old fashioned way. Spend time in person with a family member or a friend; meet for coffee, go for a walk. Spending time together is what makes the memories that build relationships. We can have thousands of facebook friends and ‘zero’ relationships. Facebook is fun, but it should not replace the personal interaction that is necessary in building relationships and community. Besides, there is no real accountability in a long distance facebook friend. There may be some opportunities to ‘plant seeds’ online, but true discipleship is best done in person, side-by-side. When Messiah said, “in the world” I don’t think He was talking about facebook.

Related Links:
Facebook Etiquette: 10 Rules for Better Socializing
PC World Magazine

How Not to Be Hated on Facebook: 10 More Rules
Time Magazine

Essential Facebook Etiquette: 10 Dos And Don’ts
Hongkiat, online tips for designers and bloggers.

Top 10 Facebook Etiquette Rules
Your Tango, a digital media company dedicated to love and relationships.

Email and texting etiquette
Stephen Crippen, Seattle based Therapist



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Lakeside Season Comes To A Close

Shutting down Lakeside on 9/11
In this photo: Rachel, Isaac, Maya, Sarah, Michaela

In celebration of Miryam's birthday, the kids had one last 'hooray' at Lakeside before the season ended. We got there when it opened and stayed until it closed. Here are some photos of the day...

Aaron had a great time riding by himself,
however he did make at least 3 friends that day.

Rebekah and Miryam spent the day together. 

I can't believe I got on the Zoom the last time
we came to Lakeside. Free-falling is not fun.

Michaela, Rachel and Isaac survived the Zoom.

"Yeeeehaaaaw!"

Watching the Zoom ascend from the Ferris Wheel. 

Aaron joins the girls in their airplane.

Bumping around on the Auto Skooters.

Aaron had one round on the Auto Skooters. When he went
through the line again they re-measured him; he was slightly
too short and was not allowed to ride again. 

Having an ice cream cone break before going back for more.

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Restoration The Right Way

“If your brother sins against you, 

go and tell him his fault, 

between you and him alone.”

- Matthew 18:15a (ESV)

“So if you are offering your gift at the altar 

and there remember that your brother has something against you, 

leave your gift there before the altar and go. 

First be reconciled to your brother, 

and then come and offer your gift.” 

- Matthew 5:23-24 (ESV)

Tonight at sundown we will officially begin the 2nd week of the month of Elul, The Month of Repentance. During this time as we all seek to restore relationships with our brothers and sisters in Messiah, please seek to do this in a Biblical manner. There are really only two scenarios for restoration: 1) when we have been offended, 2) when we have offended someone.

1. If you have been offended, if your brother or sister has sinned against you—first go to them alone and try to work it out with them. Begin with prayer and explain to them how you feel. It would be inappropriate to announce to everyone that you know what they've done to you and how it has made you feel.
2. If you have offended somebody and they come to tell you how they have been hurt by you—listen to them and own up to your fault. Begin with prayer and listen with an open mind and a heart ready for restoration. It would be inappropriate to deny someone the opportunity to clear the air about an offense. 

Within these two scenarios there are many variations of how the meeting will be played out. When confronted, some people will deny the actions that they are accused of and some will brush them off as a misunderstanding or a joke that was not meant to be taken seriously; but sometimes it really may have been a misunderstanding or a joke. Sometimes the offense may have taken place years ago and the person confronted does not remember. Whatever the situation, try to make restoration the right way. What if, when you confront someone, they do not take responsibility for their actions? What if, when you are confronted, you are accused of doing something that you don't think you should apologize for? The Apostle Paul says, “Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be defrauded?” (1 Corinthians 6:7b, NAS) In other words, the goal is to be restored, not to be right.



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Relationships – some hurt, some heal

The King's Speech

Last night, I watched The King's Speech with my wife. In case you haven't seen the movie,

 [Warning: This Post Is A Plot Spoiler] 

it is about relationships. Some relationships tear down and others build up. Some hurt you and some help you heal. In the movie, the King was emotionally wounded as a young child by people very close to him. As an adult, these emotional wounds were still as fresh as when he first received them. The most prominent manifestation of these wounds was his stammering speech; he stuttered horribly. As the leader of his country the King was expected to speak publicly before his citizens and at times, before the world. The mere thought of public speaking terrified him. The story focused on the relationship that develops between the King and his speech therapist. The King befriends the therapist and a friend was something that the King had never had before. The movie contrasts the stoic and emotionless royal family of the King with the loving interaction between the family of the therapist. Through tests and trials, both at times reaching out to ask the other for forgiveness, the King and his therapist develop a strong relationship as friends. At the end of the movie we learn that the King and his therapist remained close friends for the rest of their lives.

Sometimes the people that hurt us the most are the people who are the closest to us. Maybe that's why Adonai commanded us to honor our parents, not necessarily love them. We are to honor our authorities no matter what we think about them, no matter how we feel about them. It doesn't even matter if we love them or not. But, the parent-child relationship is supposed to be a special one. It is symbolic, a type, of our relationship with Adonai. Believers are called B'nei Elohim, Children of God. He sees us as His children. He loves us like a father; or like a father is supposed to love his children. But parents are not God, they are human and they err. Sometimes a parent's mistakes can emotionally injure their child so seriously that the child will have these emotional scars for the rest of his or her life.

A person with severe emotional wounds needs healing in order for them to live life the way God intended. Adonai provides healing for us through the blood of the Lamb. Yeshua died for our sins but He also died so that we can be healed. Sometimes this type of deep wound takes time and prayer in order to work through the multiple layers of lies and transgressions. A good friend can help in a situation like this. Someone who is genuinely concerned, someone who wants to listen and pray for you. Someone you can trust and confide in.

The King's Speech wasn't a movie about faith, but it was a movie about faithful friendship. The King wasn't healed at the end of the movie, but his friend was there to help him work through the wounds of his past. Good friends are hard to find. Before you can find one, you have to be one. When was the last time you made a significant sacrifice to help a friend?

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Appreciating the Foul Poles in my life

Foul Pole, a photo by Michael David Gonzales on Flickr.

I had coffee with a good friend of mine this morning and it really made my day and my week. I haven't met with him in a long time so it was good to catch up. When we first started Front Range, back in 2009, I would meet with Jarrod on a weekly basis for coffee and a bagel at Einstein's. How we met was a God directed appointment and we continued to meet because of a common interest. We were both in the process of planting a 'Family Integrated' church. Ours–Messianic, and theirs–Christian. He shared with me his wealth of knowledge about Biblical and historical family integration in the church and ancient Israel. He had recently graduated from Denver Seminary where he wrote his master's thesis on this topic. In addition to all the information he shared, Jarrod was also very encouraging which was what I really needed at the time. Starting a church is not easy and it can get intimidating and overwhelming at times; a lot of the time.

What I noticed about our meeting today was that Jarrod holds me accountable in my thoughts and actions. I don't think I've noticed this in the past like I did today. I don't remember asking him to hold me accountable, he just does it. Why? Well, this is what a godly friend is supposed to do. As believers, we should be challenging each other spiritually because Adonai is part of our friendship. Proverbs 27:17 says Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. This means that when we come together as friends and as we share our ideas and our thoughts, we should be encouraging and admonishing each other in the process. This back and forth challenging each other in areas of weakness, encouraging each other in new pursuits will continually push us toward Adonai and strengthen our relationship with each other.

A godly friend is like a foul pole at a baseball park. When a ball is hit over the centerfield fence it's obviously a homerun. But when the ball is hit over the fence straight up the foul line, depending on where you are standing, it is hard to determine if it is a good ball or a foul ball. The foul pole is there to make it clear, no matter where you are, if the ball went foul or not. Sometimes when we pass our ideas and thoughts by our friends, we may think they are homeruns; But after meeting and talking it over with them, we discover that our thoughts or past actions were actually foul balls.

Thank you, Adonai, for putting foul poles in my life; friends who push me back to You and Your Word.

Blessed is the man
who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners,
nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
Psalm 1:1

Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise,
but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
Proverbs 13:20

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