Restoration The Right Way

“If your brother sins against you, 

go and tell him his fault, 

between you and him alone.”

- Matthew 18:15a (ESV)

“So if you are offering your gift at the altar 

and there remember that your brother has something against you, 

leave your gift there before the altar and go. 

First be reconciled to your brother, 

and then come and offer your gift.” 

- Matthew 5:23-24 (ESV)

Tonight at sundown we will officially begin the 2nd week of the month of Elul, The Month of Repentance. During this time as we all seek to restore relationships with our brothers and sisters in Messiah, please seek to do this in a Biblical manner. There are really only two scenarios for restoration: 1) when we have been offended, 2) when we have offended someone.

1. If you have been offended, if your brother or sister has sinned against you—first go to them alone and try to work it out with them. Begin with prayer and explain to them how you feel. It would be inappropriate to announce to everyone that you know what they've done to you and how it has made you feel.
2. If you have offended somebody and they come to tell you how they have been hurt by you—listen to them and own up to your fault. Begin with prayer and listen with an open mind and a heart ready for restoration. It would be inappropriate to deny someone the opportunity to clear the air about an offense. 

Within these two scenarios there are many variations of how the meeting will be played out. When confronted, some people will deny the actions that they are accused of and some will brush them off as a misunderstanding or a joke that was not meant to be taken seriously; but sometimes it really may have been a misunderstanding or a joke. Sometimes the offense may have taken place years ago and the person confronted does not remember. Whatever the situation, try to make restoration the right way. What if, when you confront someone, they do not take responsibility for their actions? What if, when you are confronted, you are accused of doing something that you don't think you should apologize for? The Apostle Paul says, “Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be defrauded?” (1 Corinthians 6:7b, NAS) In other words, the goal is to be restored, not to be right.



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Christ-Like Love Demonstrated At Mars Hill

Fred Phelps, Westboro Baptist Church

Remember the passage in Scripture where the apostle Paul organized a protest against a church that he thought was sinning? Him, Barnabas and Timothy held up big bright colored signs, picketing in front of the entrance, yelling at the people as they entered the church. Remember that? Oh yeah—it didn't happen. As soon as I began reading this book about Biblical conflict resolution I coincidentally stumble upon an article about a recent conflict between two churches. This past Sunday in Seattle, Washington, the Westboro Baptist Church picketed Mars Hill Church because they believe that Mars Hill teaches lies about God. Mars Hill is the church of popular pastor, speaker and author Mark Driscoll.

If you've never heard of the Westboro Baptist Church, just do an Internet search and you will quickly find out who they are. Although they call themselves Baptists, this group is not associated with or accepted by any of the many Baptist denominations here or abroad. They have a history of protesting events wielding signs that contain crude messages of condemnation. According to the article Fred Phelps, the leader of the Westboro Baptist Church, told CNN in 2006, "You can't preach the Bible without preaching the hatred of God." There is a lot that can be said about this statement and the actions and beliefs of the Westboro Church; but I'll just mention a few of my concerns about this statement. First, what exactly does God hate? We have to first identify in the Text what God hates and make sure we are not inserting our own pet peeves in this list. Secondly, did God call the church to focus solely on the things He hates? What is the purpose and the role of the pastor and the church? Are they supposed to be consumed and preoccupied with the sins of the heathen, rubbing transgressions in their faces? Finally, is this method of callous public ridicule displaying Christ-like love; a love that leads to repentance? How many people have actually repented and come to a saving faith in Messiah Yeshua as a result of these protests? This display of hatred is precisely what I see between denominations and churches today; of course not to the same degree of anger and ridiculousness, but it's still there.

If this happened at your church, how would you respond? If you had a few days notice, how would you prepare? Mark Driscoll was made aware of the planned protest through his facebook page. He had a few days to prepare and I applaud him for the way he reacted to the situation—he reached out with love. What a perfect opportunity for him to lead his community in demonstrating Christ-like love and character. He could have reacted in the same way that others have in the past by fighting-fire-with-fire, but instead, he applied a bit of spiritual-judo. This countercultural, Biblical, Christ-like response caught the attention of newspapers across the country. What a great testimony and example for the Body of Messiah.

Read the article here: Church welcomes Westboro protests, even though they deeply disagree



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Make Every Effort To Keep Unity

I am now starting yet another book on love. This one is called If You Bite And Devour One Another : Biblical Principles For Handling Conflict by Alexander Strauch. When I met with Alex back in April he told me the key to a healthy Church and healthy relationships is love, Christ-like love. Once we can grasp this concept and follow after the example of our Messiah, our communities and our families will thrive. He then gave me three of his books on love. This one is his latest book, which was released in May. He explained to me that years ago, when he was a young Christian, he saw conflict and anger, bitterness and fighting between mature Christians in his community. He could not understand how a believer in Yeshua Messiah could behave in such a manner. This experience is what sparked a desire in him to begin studying about Christ-like love. He's been studying and writing about love ever since.

If You Bite And Devour is about conflict resolution within the body. In the book Strauch explores God's way of handling conflict so congregations may experience peace and unity. The goal of the book is to provide a better understanding of what the Bible teaches about conflict and to help believers learn how to respond to conflict according to biblical principles. At this point I've only read the introduction during my lunch break; but I am eager to start digging into this book this evening. Another thought that Alex shared with me is that the more we study and teach Christ-like love, the more we will begin to love like Christ did.

"We must recognize that every conflict is an opportunity to display Christlike character, the wisdom from above, and the reality of the gospel in our lives. Every conflict is a test: Will we respond according to the Spirit, displaying its beautiful fruit, or will we react in the ugliness of the flesh? Every conflict reveals whether we practice what we preach, whether we are doers of the Word or hearers only. Every conflict indicates the genuineness of our faith."
-- Alexander Strauch from If You Bite And Devour 

Download sample chapters of this book here: Bite And Devour



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Have You Left Your First Love?

I just finished another short book about love called Love Or Die : Christ's Wake-Up Call To The Church by Alexander Strauch. The book is based on Revelation 2:4 and is an encouragement for churches to begin to study about, pray for, teach on, model, guard and practice love, Christ-like love. Stauch explains that today, we don't hear enough about love in the Ekklesia of Yeshua. This is true. We need more of it; not just taught but demonstrated. In order to understand what Christ-like love is, we have to first study it in the Scriptures. In the back of the book there is a study guide that digs deeper into the examples of Chirst-like love (here is the teachers guide). This is another book that I would recommend for leaders who desire to have their communities and families overflowing with Christ-like love.

Download sample chapters of this book here: Love or Die



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Learning About Love

I finished a book yesterday called Agape Leadership, Lessons in Spiritual Leadership From the Life of R.C. Chapman by Robert L. Peterson and Alexander Strauch. It's a challenging little book (80 pages) about love and humility, forgiveness and self-sacrifice. R.C. Chapman (1803-1902) was an elder at Ebenezer Chapel in Barnstaple, England who decided early on in his ministry that he was not going to only preach Christ, he was going to live Christ. His life is an example of how to live as a disciple of Jesus. I would recommend this book to any Church Leader who is eager to promote love within his community. I may even get a copy of this for every family at FRMC.

Download sample chapters of this book here: Agape Leadership


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