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| Miryam proudly displays the birthday cake that Bubbe made for her. |
When our first child turned 7-years old we started a tradition in our family by throwing her a special
Blessing Birthday Party. Allow me to explain...
Have you ever noticed that, in the Torah, there is something significant about the number 7? It's a number that Adonai uses over and over again.
- Shabbat is every 7 days.
- Pesach (more specifically Hamatzah) is a 7-day festival.
- Shavuot is 7 weeks after Yom Habikkurim.
- The Fall Festivals are in the 7th month, called Tishrei.
- Every 7 years Hashem instituted a the Shemittah–a year of remission of debts and rest for the land (also known as the Sabbatical Year).
- Every 7 'weeks' of years (49 years) followed Hayovel, the Jubilee Year–a time of freedom and restoration throughout the land.
There are many more examples in the Text; these are just a few that we recently studied at
Front Range. Throughout the Scriptures the number 7 is understood to be a number of completeness or fullness. Because of this, Margaret and I saw an opportunity to identify a milestone in the life of our children. At 7-years-old their life is far from being 'full', but it is a milestone physically, mentally, and it can be spiritually. In his book
Children Are From Heaven, John Gray describes the development of children in what he calls, 'cycles of seven.'
During the first seven years, children are primarily dependent on the parents or primary caretaker to develop a sense of self. During the next seven years (ages seven to fourteen), children are still dependent on parents, but a shift takes place and they become more dependent on siblings, relatives, and friends to determine a positive sense of self.
(Pg. 333-334, Children Are From Heaven, by John Gray, Ph.D. 1999)
By 7 years old most children are in school and, in one way or another, they interact with children other than their siblings. They are no longer 'little boys' and 'little girls' but 'big boys' and 'big girls'. They are self sufficient in many ways; able to do many tasks on their own. Because of this significant change in their young lives, Margaret and I decided to make this milestone a memorable one by having a special celebration for them. In some ways, this tradition is really for Margaret and I as we raise our children. We can point back to this day and remind them that they are growing and developing and that they are now expected to be more responsible as a 'big boy' or 'big girl'. After this milestone, the next big step is Bar/Bat Mitzvah, which is coming up for Michaela very soon, but that’s another story.
In case you are wondering, the differences between this celebration and other birthday celebrations are this:
1) The party is more formal than most. We dress up. We don't wear casual clothes and we don't go the park. We dress like we're going to Shabbat Service and we try to have a more elegant meal instead of hot dogs and chips. Our two oldest girls wore a very pretty formal dress for their celebration. Because his birthday falls near Thanksgiving, Isaac chose a 'Thanksgiving' theme for his blessing birthday. He dressed in a pilgrim-style outfit and instead of a birthday cake, he requested a pumpkin pie. Miryam has asked to have her celebration at
Cinzzetti's Italian Market Restaurant because of the wide variety of desserts.
2) We pronounce a public blessing over him or her and invite others to do the same. On other birthday celebrations we usually give thanks to God for the birthday boy or girl and we go around the table taking turns in sharing fun stories about them. During this celebration, we do the same thing, but it's a bit more polished. It is our hope that adults who have made an impact in their lives or those who are close to the family would participate in this event.
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Miryam and her friends at Cinzzetti's during
her Blessing Birthday Celebration. (09/20/11) |
Children need to hear that they are loved by their parents, family and community. They need to hear that they are special in the eyes of those who love them. If you have never blessed your son or daughter, what are you waiting for? It doesn't matter what age they are, you can bless them today! It doesn't need to be a special occasion. Below is an article that can be used as a guide to blessing your son or daughter. I recommend printing it out, reading it over and making time to bless your children.
Related Article:
The Blessing
by Mark Merrill, March 25, 2010
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