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| The grass is always greener on the other side. But maybe it's because the other side was fertilized with harmful herbicides and pesticides. Be careful! |
In our Torah passage last week we read about Reuben and Gad asking to stay in the wilderness instead of joining the rest of the tribes of Israel in crossing the Jordan River and entering the Promised Land. The tribes fo Reuben and Gad had acquired an exceedingly large amount of livestock, presumably after the destruction of Midian. But on their way into the Promised Land they noticed that the land on the east side of the Jordan River was good for livestock—their livestock. So they petition Moses and request that they stay there, east of the Jordan, and forfeit their inheritance in the Promised Land.
Moses takes issue with this petition. He equates their appeal with the actions of the 10 spies, their forefathers, who lost faith in God and spread fear throughout the community. This sin is what kept them in the wilderness for 40 years to begin with and they are potentially going to take the people through the same thing. If they do, Moses lets them know that it will be on their heads. By desiring to stay in the wilderness they will cause the people to lose hope in their mission and faith in their God. This was not a light matter.
Moses knew that these unexpected, selfish actions would cause some to doubt the purpose of their hard work. It would cause them to second guess their mission and ultimately lead them down the path of disobedience and away from God. Imagine going through 40 years of wilderness-living with these folks—working toward the same goal, going through the same hardship experiences—and then once you arrive at your final destination, the goal of your 40 year trek, they bail on you. It would be incredibly discouraging.
The same can be said about churches today—when the going gets tough, the selfish get up and go. This is because in most churches today multigenerational faith is not preached. As a result, some families find themselves hopping from church to church in search for the ever-elusive 'perfect community.' Once they think they've found it, they settle down for a few months, maybe a year, until they find some imperfections with their new church family. When the opportunity comes, they decide that these imperfections are enough reason for them to leave. They feel that their departure is justified and they move on to next temporary commitment. The sad reality of this scenario is that the children have been carefully watching all along. The children of the families that stay in the church and, more importantly, the children of the family that leaves and moves from church to church. This experience will have a negative impact on their ability to commit to a community of faith when they are adults. It may even cause them to struggle with their relationship with God.
On the other hand, a multigenerational faith understands that, when committing to a community, the good times come with the bad. There are ebbs and there are flows. There are times of growth and times of drought. There are highs and lows. A multigenerational faith will model for their children a long term commitment to their community. Several years ago when we left our previous church that we had attended for nine years, it was tough on our children. They were devastated. It wasn't until after this event that I began to understand what it means to live multigenerationally. So now, we've committed to this community, Front Range, for life—God willing that is. I want my children to understand that long term commitments are good, like marriage.
The high divorce rate in our society is an indication that long term commitments are not valued. Marriage is no longer a commitment that lasts 'until death do us part' but 'until I get tired of being married to you.' We've become a selfish, self-centered society and when things don't go our way, we have no problem leaving. Many people today hop from job to job, house to house, school to school, church to church. etc... As a society we seem to be loosing the concept and value of long term commitments. Is it because they take work, sometimes hard work and even self sacrifice? It's much easier to leave when the going gets tough.
Although the grass may be greener on the other side, what else is on that other side? In Joshua 22 we read that Reuben and Gad realized that their children were going to pay the consequences for their decision to live outside the Promised Land. Their selfish decision took them outside of the safety of community and into the wilderness. Because they were self-centered, they put their own desires before the welfare of the children, before their commitment to their community and before their obedience to their God.
Remember, it's the children that suffer the consequences for our selfish decisions. So, when committing to a community of faith, consider trying extra-hard to stick it out during the bad times. Commit to a community for the long haul. It will only cause you to grow and it will benefit your children, God's next generation.
Related Passages:
Torah: Numbers 32:1-42
Haftarah: Joshua 22:7-9
Apostolic Scriptures: Hebrews 10:26-31
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